Blog .. Bog .. Bob .. Blob .. who? Me?

A comp. sci. friend of mine with a taste for data mining that verges on paranoia (much like my brother’s), stopped blogging about any and all personal issues because no matter how many identities he switched he claimed that people who knew him could always recognize his distinctive writing style. During the year that blogging served as the ultimate sanity-provider, I too, frantically changed URLs and blog services, sometimes working on two or three simultaneously, to preserve anonymity. About 3 years later, the possibility of being found in cyberspace is not as daunting. The Capt’s inability to recognize me has further reassured me that I have nothing to worry about. *winks* My comp.sci. friend however has hinted that he has spotted me in cyber space again but it doesn’t really matter to me as much as it would have some time ago.

I wonder, what has changed in my life or in my world view that I’m not plagued by the fear of being found out?

“Today on Planet Spit Fire …”

When I am feeling insecure I often retort with greater heat on what may otherwise appear to be perfectly nonchalant, casual comments.  For instance, people really ought not to speak to me about “good jobs out there” for a while and how “being single [I] should be making lots of money and having the time of my life”.

I can also quite easily break arms and legs over “oh so-and-so has such talent for painting/writing”.  That’s like saying, “No hun, you really didn’t need to waste time at university to do what you did, because really that’s all that it was – wasting time.”

Last but not least, should anyone come up to me and say something implying, however vaguely, that my having studied abroad and having a pierced brow and nose have any correlation to my current single status, will most certainly bear the worst of my ire.

All that said, yes, I know all this intense negativity is a function of my own insecurities.  Yes, I know, I know they’re all offering friendly advice only on the basis of their own limited frames of reference and it is up to me to not make much of what they say.  Yes, I do agree with you there.  Uh-huh.  Yep. *Nods her head vehemently.*

Back in the warp as the counter-diatribe ensues.